She asks them to draw the surface of the ocean, and write or draw what they’re feeling. With her clients Hanks uses the metaphor that emotions are an ocean. And it’s usually harder to access and express, she said. Beneath the frustration and irritability is usually a vulnerable emotion, such as loneliness (as in Cindy’s case), sadness or fear. “Anger is often a secondary emotion,” Hanks said. Let the person know that you’d like to continue the conversation once you (or both of you) have cooled off.
Express your emotions without blaming the other person.Become aware of your early warning signs of anger.Cindy worked very hard to keep everyone happy. He either disconnected from the kids or exploded at them. Cindy was an excellent caretaker and had great empathy for everyone (but herself). Many of Hanks’s clients who have “anger issues” actually don’t let themselves express their anger.įor instance, Hanks worked with Cindy (not her real name), a woman in her 30s who seemed cheerful and positive-and exhausted.
Rather, your actions might be passive-aggressive, and you might feel resentful.
Sometimes, you might not feel angry at all. Years ago, Farris worked with a young woman who realized that focusing on what others did triggered her frustration.
WHY AM I SHAKING FOR NO REASON HOW TO
“That’s where, if those buttons are pushed enough, often enough, you could flip into a state of anger without even knowing why.”Īnger also “stems from wanting to control what is outside of us,” said Michelle Farris, LMFT, a psychotherapist in San Jose, Calif., who loves helping people learn how to manage anger and build healthy relationships. Maybe you expected your spouse to help out more around the house. Maybe you expected your best friend to support you, but they didn’t. For instance, maybe they’re angry because they feel invisible or like they don’t matter, said Wong, founder of connectfulness counseling. That is, they’re angry with their spouse, kids, parents, friends or coworkers. Psychotherapist Rebecca Wong, LCSW, sees many individuals and couples who are angry because of relational issues.
0 kommentar(er)
